I Love You, I'll Kill You
by Mako Headrush
Summary: Genesis and Sephiroth are assigned to investigate some strange happenings in Nibelheim, and spend the night at the allegedly haunted Shinra Mansion. An insomniac Genesis wanders the halls, and eventually finds his way down into the laboratory where he uncovers startling information about himself. AU,rated M,yaoi, lemon.


**Summary: Genesis and Sephiroth are assigned to investigate some strange happenings in Nibelheim, and spend the night at the allegedly haunted Shinra Mansion. An insomniac Genesis wanders the halls, and eventually finds his way down into the laboratory where he uncovers startling information about himself, as well as his lover and his best friend. Genesis tries to hold onto his sanity as he deals with this new knowledge, and wrestles with the decision of whether or not he should tell Sephiroth everything he knows.**

**AU-ish - Usual disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, Square Enix does; this is written for fun, not profit. Any lyrics quoted within are attributed to the artist.**

* * *

_I see love, I can see passion_  
_I feel danger, I feel obsession_  
_Don't play games with the ones who love you_  
_Cause I hear a voice who says:_  
_I love you... I'll kill you... _  
_  
Look into the mirror of your soul_  
_Love and hate are one in all_  
_Sacrifice turns to revenge and believe me_  
_You'll see the face who'll say:_  
_I love you... I'll kill you...  
_  
_But I'll love you forever_

**"I Love You...I'll Kill You" - Enigma**

* * *

"They say it's haunted, you know," Genesis smirked, his head jostling a bit as the truck transporting them from Costa to Nibelheim hit a bump in the road.

"Hm? What's haunted?" Sephiroth said distractedly, looking up from his PDA; Lazard was emailing him some last-minute detail about the mission again, something wholly unnecessary, Sephiroth thought. The mission objective was simple, and one that Sephiroth was familiar with; investigate any strange happenings around the Mako reactor. One by one, reactors here and there throughout Gaia were showing signs of deterioration, and there had been reports of 'strange creatures' near some of the reactors. _Hysterical villagers in this instance, no doubt_, Sephiroth thought confidently. He knew how these small towns were; a 'strange' animal would be spotted by someone or other, who would go racing back to town to describe it in grandiose and ridiculous fashion, embellishing his or her tale the more they went on. Of course, monsters _did_ live throughout the land; suddenly the Midgar Zolom came to mind.

_A fearsome creature, the Zolom,_ Sephiroth mused, eyes shuttering. _Yet...I do not fear it. I fear...nothing_. He wondered if this was odd, was he the only one who was truly fearless? Or was this a hallmark of those good enough to be called SOLDIER? Genesis's voice suddenly broke Sephiroth out of his reverie.

"The Shinra mansion," Genesis explained, leaning forward, hands on his knees as he smiled sensually at Sephiroth. "If you believe in that sort of thing, that is."

Sephiroth snorted. "Ghosts? Well, if there are any, Gen, they are no match for masamune," he boasted, the weapon in question separating the two of them where they had taken seats opposite each other in the back of the truck. "You don't mean to say you are afraid, Genesis - are you?" The voice was playful; Sephiroth's lips were turned up in a sultry grin as he teased his lover.

"Afraid?" Genesis scoffed. "Of course I'm not. I should like to see if the local legends are true, that's all." Genesis bristled a bit at Sephiroth's remark, even though he knew the General was merely joking with him. The redhead still had that competitive streak that wouldn't die; Sephiroth would always be the hero, always be the greatest SOLDIER who had ever lived.

_But there is room for another hero_,_ one besides Sephiroth_, Genesis would tell himself. _And **I** can be that hero._

"Next stop, Nibelheim!" the driver announced from the front of the truck. A groaning noise was heard from the side, and both Genesis and Sephiroth saw a dark-haired First Class bending over someone.

"Zack, what's going on with him?" Genesis called, nodding his head. Sephiroth glanced up, having taken little notice of the Shinra troopers accompanying them until now.

"It's Cadet Strife, sir," Zack announced, his face full of concern for his friend. "He's gotten ill - " A muffled _I'm fine! _was heard, followed by the appearance of spiked blond hair, as Cloud sat up.

"Sir!" Cloud barked, quickly saluting both Sephiroth and Genesis. "No worries...I'll be fine now, we're almost there." Cloud quickly put his helmet back on, not wanting anyone in town to recognize him.

Sephiroth nodded. "Let the medic know if you start to feel worse," the General said simply, and thought nothing further of it. The truck pulled into Nibelheim, and came to a shuddering stop.

"Rather cold here," Genesis remarked, letting the younger cadets and troopers disembark first.

"It's autumn," Sephiroth replied, narrowing his eyes as a shaft of afternoon sunlight caught a few strands of Genesis's auburn hair, highlighting the strawberry blond hues within.

"It's beautiful," Sephiroth murmured to nobody in particular, as he followed Genesis into the town square, where the small platoon reconvened.

"Now, listen," Genesis began, addressing the group. "There are only so many rooms at the inn, and too many of us. Sephiroth and I will be taking rooms at the Shinra Mansion - it has not been used in many years, but our caretakers still look after it. The rest of you will stay at the inn here in town."

"Aw, man," Zack objected good-naturedly. "I was hoping to see a ghost over there! I hear it's haunted."

Sephiroth chuckled. "We'll let you know if we do, Zack. We'll let you know."

* * *

With that, the parties split up, and Genesis and Sephiroth trudged up the hill toward the Shinra mansion, duffel bags slung over each of their shoulders. As soon as they were out of sight of the other men, Genesis linked his arm with Sephiroth's, and nuzzled his shoulder. "There are seventeen bedrooms in the mansion, you know," Genesis murmured. "You can even have your own, if you'd like..."

"No," Sephiroth said with a low growl. He smiled at Genesis, beckoning him to follow him through the front door. "How long has it been, hm?" Sephiroth murmured, pushing Genesis against the door upon shutting it, lips running over his neck as his hands roamed downward, sliding off the red leather duster, which fell to the floor with a soft whoosh.

"_Too_ long," Genesis said hoarsely, pushing Sephiroth back slightly, their tongues warring with each other as each fought to be the dominant one.

"Bedroom - how far?" Sephiroth muttered, pulling back from Genesis. Sephiroth grasped his arm and dragged him up the sweeping staircase, chest heaving with passion. His cool teal eyes darted over the numerous doors lining the corridor, all of them shut. At the end of the hallway, a soft light shone through an open archway.

"Take a left," Sephiroth barked, practically shoving Genesis along.

"How I love it when you take charge," Genesis quipped, mouth curved up in a sensual smirk. There were times when Sephiroth's somewhat bossy attitude would annoy Genesis to no end, but this was not one of those times…not _yet_, anyway.

At the end of the hallway, faint light showed underneath the door; behind the door was the conservatory, and the setting sun shone through the large, floor to ceiling windows that opened out onto a small garden. Just inside the door was a rather dusty looking piano, the ivory keys were yellowed with age. Sephiroth grinned wickedly and pushed Genesis toward the piano, bending him over the bench, face down, though Genesis was squirming, trying his damnedest to turn around, wrists pinned to the top of the piano in Sephiroth's iron-like grip.

"Quit moving around so much," Sephiroth growled, snarling as a foot shot backwards, Genesis tried to nail him in the balls. The redhead chuckled, smirking as he finally broke from Sephiroth's grasp and spun around.

"You love this as much as I do, don't deny it," Genesis taunted. "If I just lie down and let you _fuck _me, what would be the fun in that?"

"Genesis," Sephiroth admonished, in mock horror. "Such language. I shall have to teach you a lesson." He kissed the younger man hard, so hard that he could taste blood, and it was driving him to distraction.

"The hell you will," Genesis retorted saucily, throwing his head back as Sephiroth's teeth grazed against his neck, flashing white in the light streaming through the windowpane. Sephiroth crab-walked Genesis backwards, pressing him against the ancient-looking piano, sending forth a cloud of dust as he knelt on the worn-looking bench, covered with tufted crushed velvet fabric in a deep burgundy hue.

Genesis laughed as the lid of the piano slammed shut, Sephiroth pushing him further and further back until he was spread-eagled, sprawled out on his back. His expression turned serious as Sephiroth's gaze pinned his own, tension and lust hanging between them almost palpably. Clothes were shed in a heated, sudden frenzy, leaving little to no time for foreplay.

They did not care. It _had_ been too long - several weeks, at any rate, since the two lovers had stolen a moment alone together, and both were feeling overly amorous and impatient. With minimal preparation, Sephiroth entered Genesis in a single thrust, letting out a keening cry as he arched his back, Genesis smacking the back of his head on the piano as Sephiroth drove into him with abandon. Even now, as they opened themselves to each other, they were as two caged animals squaring off, fighting for dominance; yet Genesis hated how Sephiroth would try to overpower him when they were intimate like this.

_I love you...I'll kill you..I love you…I'll kill you. _The chant filled Genesis's brain, though he did not utter the words out loud, not even sure where the crazy thought had come from. **_Kill_**_ Sephiroth?_ Genesis thought briefly, panting as his lover brought him to his peak. _Never...I would never do such a thing, I love him._

_I **love** him. Don't I? _As Genesis shuddered again, finally reaching his climax, Sephiroth collapsed upon him in a sweaty heap, obviously feeling quite sated.

* * *

The mansion soon grew cold and drafty after sunset, autumn in Nibelheim being somewhat colder than what they were used to in Midgar. After they'd finished their tryst and collected themselves somewhat, Genesis and Sephiroth gathered what kindling they could from the woodpile outside the back kitchen door, quickly starting a fire in the various fireplaces throughout the mansion. Each of the bedrooms had a fireplace, and Sephiroth selected the master bedroom - the largest one, naturally - for himself and Genesis, off to the right of the second floor landing. The kitchen itself, of course, hadn't been used in years, not since the last employees of Shinra, Inc., had lived there.

"I do wonder who the last guests were here," Genesis remarked, running a gloved finger along the sideboard, making a path in the layer of old dust. "It doesn't appear we'll be using the kitchen here."

"No matter," Sephiroth replied, shrugging his shoulders. "We can join the others at the Inn for our evening meal, if you wish. I understand this is Cadet Strife's hometown, or so Zack said."

"Ah, yes," Genesis murmured indifferently, studying Sephiroth intently. He was feeling rather selfish; moments alone with the Silver General were few and far between, and he wanted Sephiroth all to himself that evening. Genesis didn't feel like dining with the others at the Inn, he only wanted to spend the rest of the night with Sephiroth - alone. Yes, they had a job to do, but the mission would not begin until the following morning, when the guide they hired would lead them through the mountains, up to the reactor on Mt. Nibel.

"Seph?" Genesis spoke up, stepping forward, closing the distance between himself and his lover. Eyes as blue as a summer sky in Mideel gazed unflinchingly into Sephiroth's cool teal ones, and Genesis smiled, running a gloved thumb across the general's lower lip.

"Let's have food delivered here from town, hmm?" Genesis suggested. "Whatever you'd like. I want you all to myself tonight."

Sephiroth laughed, pulling back from his lover a bit as he stared at the man lustfully. "So greedy you are," the general said, his tone teasing and light. "Fine. We'll order some food, not that there's much of a selection in this backwater village," Sephiroth added, rolling his eyes.

"We're a long ways from Midgar, Seph," Genesis said carefully. "You should see _my_ hometown. It's even smaller than Nibelheim."

"I don't have a hometown," Sephiroth said suddenly, a strange, faraway look in his eye. "I suppose that sounds odd?"

Genesis raised an eyebrow at that. Neither he nor Sephiroth had really discussed their respective childhoods, but Genesis assumed that the general _had_ one, anyway. "I'm not sure what you mean, Sephiroth," Genesis said slowly, frowning. "Where did you grow up? How can you not have a hometown? I don't understand - "

"Never mind," Sephiroth said quickly, waving his hand dismissively, cutting Genesis off. He smiled without mirth, gazing coolly at Genesis. "It matters not."

* * *

After both men had eaten their fill, Sephiroth took his nightly cocktail of pharmaceuticals supplied to him by Hojo, including a sleep aid. Normally the general did not require much sleep at all, though there were some times when he didn't sleep a wink all night long, and felt no worse for it the following morning. He'd always assumed it was due to the Mako in his body, one of the side effects of high amounts of Mako was insomnia. Genesis' sleep was generally a fair bit better, though sometimes it would be broken, especially when he was sleeping in a new and unfamiliar place.

The bedding was a bit dusty from non-use, so Genesis stripped off the large quilt from the old cast-iron bed and shook it out, idly wondering to himself who had been the last occupant of this bed, and when?

"The walls hold many secrets," Genesis murmured offhandedly, as he and Sephiroth burrowed themselves beneath the covers, both waiting for sleep to come in the purple-shadowed darkness of the bedroom.

"Hmm? What secrets?" Sephiroth replied, yawning as the sleeping pill began to take effect.

"Nothing," Genesis replied. "Just...wondering. About those who came before us," he added.

"The Cetra?" Sephiroth mumbled, sounding confused.

"No," Genesis said, shaking his head. "Not that. Just - never mind, love, I'm rambling. Get some sleep, hmm?"

"Yes," Sephiroth murmured, a light snore sounding. "Yes..." Soon, he was fully relaxed and asleep; Genesis smiled at him, watching the moon backlight his lover's face, making him look almost god-like as he lay there in peaceful slumber.

_Those who came before us... _The thought lingered in Genesis' mind, long after his lover had gone to sleep. _Where did that come from?_ Genesis wondered, staring at the ceiling above him, trying to still his mind, listening to Sephiroth's heartbeat, steady and strong, and watching the rise and fall of the general's chest as he slept on, oblivious to his lover's insomnia. Genesis sighed and turned towards the wall, pulling the covers over him as he tossed and turned.

Finally, after a frustrating hour of this tossing about - and not feeling one bit tired - Genesis got up and pulled on his boots, then roamed the halls of the mansion, thinking he might find a book or something to read, desperate to settle his mind enough to get a bit of sleep before their mission the next day. From room to room he went, not finding much of anything other than dust-laden old furniture, which was likely beautiful and pristine once upon a time. Genesis came to a room on the opposite end of the conservatory, and, hearing noises within, entered. It sounded like soft whispers and giggling, but subsided once he was in the room.

_How peculiar_, Genesis thought, running his hand over the curved fieldstone wall. He felt a slight indentation and pushed - suddenly the wall gave way, revealing a doorway which led to a spiral staircase. "A hidden room," Genesis murmured, carefully making his way down the winding stairs. "How very interesting indeed." Cobwebs hung on the stone walls, some catching Genesis in the face and the hair, sticking to him; he brushed these off with his fingers, squinting a bit in the murky darkness, though he was able to see relatively well thanks to his Mako-enhanced vision.

"It's like a _mausoleum _in here," Genesis muttered, the echo of his voice off of the cavernous walls only adding to that perception. "Hello?" Genesis called as he got down to the landing at the bottom. He saw nothing, saw nobody - the place really _did_ feel like a tomb. Venturing further down the never-ending corridor, Genesis eventually came upon the library.

"Ahh, yes." Genesis smiled, breathing in the musty scent of old books, feeling instantly at home. He was certain there had to be a copy of Loveless down here somewhere; perhaps a fine, leather-bound copy of the work most beloved by Genesis, complete with gilt-edged pages. _But no, what's this?_ Genesis went in further, past the vast walls lined with bookcases, and saw a row of Mako tubes by the wall; several examination tables, flanked by stands bearing torturous looking surgical tools led the soldier to an obvious conclusion.

_A medical lab...secreted in the basement of the Shinra Mansion, but for what purpose? _His curiosity aroused, Genesis spotted a large leather chair behind a large desk, and took a seat, then attempted to open the desk drawers, only to find they were locked. Pulling a dagger out of his boot, Genesis grinned, jamming the blade into the lock, he easily opened the drawer and slid it open. Inside was an assortment of file folders, and Genesis pulled the stack out, depositing it on the desk blotter. He narrowed his eyes as he read the label on each: _Project A, Project G, Project S. _Inside each file were reports authored by Professors Gast and Hojo, as well as Hollander.

"What in the name of Minerva -?" Genesis murmured to himself as he began reading. The first report, oddly enough, was dated December 31st, and the location was Banora Village.

"My birthday...and my hometown..." Genesis said to himself, a cold feeling working its way up his spine as he read on. For hours he remained there, reading the reports, trying to fit all of the pieces together. He'd gotten himself so lost in his reading that the sun rose without him even realizing it.

* * *

Sephiroth had risen at daybreak, and grew frustrated when he couldn't find Genesis anywhere in the mansion. They were ready to leave on their mission, and Sephiroth's second-in-command was nowhere to be found.

"Hold tight, Zack," Sephiroth told the youngest of the soldiers, as the group - minus Genesis - congregated early that morning in the foyer of the Shinra Mansion. "I will look for him again," Sephiroth said irritably, scowling. "If I do not find him this time, we will get the guide and move on to Mount Nibel, and Genesis will be declared AWOL."

"AWOL?" Zack echoed, shaking his head. "Wow...that's kind of...harsh, isn't it?"

"We are about to leave on a mission, and Genesis is missing," Sephiroth said icily. "If he does not turn up, then he is considered Absent Without Leave. Period." With that, Sephiroth turned on his heel and stalked off up the staircase, heading into the right wing of the mansion. He noticed the doorway in the stone wall, only slightly ajar; he hadn't seen this during his first cursory pass through the room. Looking down at the spiral staircase, Sephiroth was sure he saw light at the bottom of the stairs and rushed down there quickly, black leather trench flaring out behind him. Finally, the general came upon Genesis, still entrenched in reading reports, and Professor Gast's diary.

Genesis did not seem to hear when Sephiroth entered the inner office, nor did he look up when the general snapped at him.

"Genesis! What are you doing down here!" Sephiroth barked, eyes narrowing angrily. "Have you no sense of time? We have a mission, if you are not ready to leave in five minutes - "

"Mission. Yes," Genesis replied, his tone strangely odd and detached as he stood up. "I will be ready, Sephiroth. Let me...get dressed." He walked past Sephiroth, not even looking at him, much to the general's chagrin. As Genesis approached the staircase, he turned and glanced back at Sephiroth, his expression one of love and pity. _There is no time to tell him, not now,_ Genesis thought, worrying. _Perhaps...later. If I can even bring myself to tell the one I love, the things I have learned, such terrible things...Minerva, give me strength, for I shall need it...monster that I am, that we all are..._

"I believe I have found our ghosts, Sephiroth," Genesis said mysteriously, then turned away, ascending the stairs up to the main floor.

* * *

**A/N: This was written for a dA art exchange, and went a bit beyond the simple one-shot I'd originally envisioned! The pairing requested was Genesis/Sephiroth, so I decided to play with canon a bit here. If there is interest, I may do a second chapter to tie things up; the plan was, to have Genesis break the news to Sephiroth after they investigate the Mt. Nibel reactor, and things just unravel from there as you might expect.**

**Please read and review, and if you'd like to see more, let me know in a comment. Thanks!**


End file.
